I didn't shave. On purpose
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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