i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Randomize
