I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize