what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize