No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
