I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
