all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
