Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
