and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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