dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
