honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
