The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My penis needs a shock collar
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
