Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
