Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
