dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
