Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I want to have your abortion
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
