Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
