dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize