You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
