A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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