thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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