It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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