did you get engaged???
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
