I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
