i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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