Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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