Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
