He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My pussy is not your playground.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
