you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
