I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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