And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize