I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
