Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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