Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize