come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
