You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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