I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
