I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
