woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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