We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
