would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
