"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
