I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
