Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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