It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
