Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
