And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
