Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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