The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize