the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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