if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
