I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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