Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
