I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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