the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
