I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize