I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i think i have two assholes
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
