I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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