just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
