well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize