i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
