no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
