i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
