I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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