Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
