everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
