Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
A bitchslap is in order.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
