just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You are the jesus of drinking
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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