Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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