normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
