My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
