Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
