am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
